Busy in our waiting

This past week at our Bible study we were looking at Mark chapter 1--where the writer looks back at the prophecy of the coming of John the Baptist--600 years beforehand. And then I read Psalm 105, which recounts the history of the children of Israel. I was struck how busy God is in out waiting. 600 years passed from the time of Isaiah's prophecy until it was fulfilled in Mark 1. 600 years of waiting for the Messiah--600 years of marriages, birth, death, harvest and planting, freedom and exile, war and peace--600 years of hoping that He would come and change everything. 

600 years of carefully orchestrated genealogies--of God removing and raising up kings, allowing  war and proclaiming peace. Setting the boundaries of our habitations as that when the fullness of time had come everything was in place. 

2,000 years later I grow weary with the waiting---sometimes I feel almost hopeless--LORD how long?! And what am I doing in this mundaneness--show me Your glory that I might see You in the NOW. Sometimes my life seems so trivial and the things that anger, excite, or move me are not much in the light of eternity--

But the same God who spent all of history matching couples and moving families so that a Jewish carpenter named Joseph would fall for a beautiful peasant girl named Mary--is at work in the mundane moments of my life--

Nothing is wasted.

 All is sacred.

Camp

I have been thinking a lot about Camp these last few weeks--I guess since the College and Career retreat. I attended the dedication of the new chapel barn and was reminded of how great the impact of camp has been on our family.

My grandpa was involved in the founding of the camp way back in the 70s. He and my grandma have spent countless hours pouring themselves into the work that needed to be done to keep the place in good working order. My parents met at camp and basically did all their dating serving the Lord together there. 

My earliest memories of camp are a few weeks before I accepted the Lord Jesus as my Savior. I remember a teepee and two adults, a few other kids including my cousin Josh, and my friend Lexi. And I remember learning this simple chorus, "My heart was black with sin, until the Savior came in, His precious blood I know, has washed me white as snow. And in God's word I'm told I'll walk the streets of gold, I'll grow in grace each day, as I read and pray." A few weeks later those words would finally sink in and I realized that I needed a Savior to save me from my sin. 

It was a joy to hear my cousin Josh share that he came to Christ that same week as a result of those messages. 

I remember our family working together at camp--this is also one of my earliest memories. When I was somewhere between the ages of 4-6 my dad and grandpa went down to work on the new bathhouse. I got the job of picking up all the nails that fell to the ground. I can still remember how grown-up and special I felt sitting on the counter in the kitchen with all the men listening to Jim tell stories.

I also learned to overcome fears while at camp--starting from the time I was very little. I remember going down to the swimming hole with my cousin Josh and him trying to persuade me to go down the water slide. Camp had this great waterslide--a plastic pool slide at the top of the hill leading down to the swimming hole that spits you out onto plastic sheeting that takes you the rest of the way. Josh must have been pretty persuasive because the next thing I remember is sitting on top of the plastic pool slide saying, "I can't do this!" And the next moment I am flying down the slide toward the water yelling "Josh!!!" He had seen my hesitation and pushed me!

I learned about Bible study and prayer, about loyalty and friendship. 

I remember Friday night sundaes at the A-frame, where Mark would ask a question of the night and we would share our thoughts and our hearts. I remember one night when the question was "What, aside from your salvation, are you most grateful to the Lord for in your Christian life?" The answer I gave has always stuck in my mind--maybe because it is always true--but I am so thankful that He saved me knowing full well that I would do most of my sinning after I got saved and that His grace is sufficient for these things!

I learned to work hard and to see the needs of others. I learned to have fun while doing that too. I learned to appreciate learning new skills and being given the opportunity to use them. 

I learned that breakfast sausage is the best bait for catfish. I learned that siding with the boys team was ALWAYS a good idea--especially when they are all family. I learned to paddle-boat. 

I went on the Haggan-hike. I canoed on the Susquehanna. I learned to pull pranks. 

I learned that "without ME you can do nothing." I learned to lean on the Lord. 

The Risk of Love

I don't know if I can even full express the thought that has been running through my head the last few days. I have been thinking about Advent, and preparing my heart to celebrate His birth, and marveling that He came. 

I mean, to think that the God of the universe--the Creator and Sustainer of all that we see would stoop to come to earth as a newborn baby--to live and die for me is amazing! 

But then it struck me--even before He created us He knew that He would have to send His Son to die. The all-knowing God, knew full well that His creation would rebel and sin and that the only way to restore that relationship would be to send His Beloved Son to the cross. And He created us anyways. 

So when life seems hard, and He seems far away, trust in the unfailing love of a God who loved us so much that He would rather send His Son to die for us than not even create us in the first place. The God who loves us so much that He created us, knit us together in our mother's womb and relentlessly pursues His lost creation to bring them back to Him. 

Oh what a love!

I am the Resurrection

 John 11: 17b- 27 "So when Jesus came, He found that he had already been in the tomb four days. 18 Now Bethany was near Jerusalem, about two miles away. 19 And many of the Jews had joined the women around Martha and Mary, to comfort them concerning their brother.

20 Now Martha, as soon as she heard that Jesus was coming, went and met Him, but Mary was sitting in the house. 21 Now Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died. 22 But even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You.”

23 Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”

24 Martha said to Him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”

25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. 26 And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?”

27 She said to Him, “Yes, Lord, I believe that You are the Christ, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.”

I had been thinking lately about The Lord's interaction with Martha when Lazarus dies and she say's to the Lord,  " I know he'll be raised on the last day." The Lord's response puzzled me for a long time because what He says sounds like a correction even though what she said is true. He says, " I am the resurrection and the Life.... Do you believe this?" Martha doesn't know that He is about to raise her brother from the dead and so her hope is in the future resurrection of the dead; the hope that we believers also share. So why does the Lord seem to be correcting her and what is it that she, and so often we, fail to understand? It struck me that the message for all of us is the first two words, "I am." Not I was or I will be but I am. When we stand weeping at the grave of one we love we can know that although to us their resurrection seems to be a future event to the One who always is it is already done--That is why He says, "whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die."

Whatever is true

For the last few days I haven't been able to get those three little words out of my head..."Whatever is true..."

They are the first few words in Paul's reminder to us to think on "Whatever is true, honorable, just, etc..." in Philippians 4:8. 

That verse often seems like a tag-on at the end of an amazing book--I have often thought as I read the last chapter of Philippians that it seems like a series of postscripts rather than a cohesive thought. But this time as I thought about it I changed my mind. 

Paul starts chapter 4 with an exhortation to two women with rather unpronounceable names who could be anyone of us. Two women who are not getting along despite their otherwise faithful service in the Lord.

It struck me as I read the first few verses and then verse 8 that perhaps there was more of a thought flow here than I originally gave Paul credit for--many of our disagreements and difficulties with fellow believers come because we fail to follow instruction number 1--"Whatever is true--" Instead, we draw conclusions, and make assumptions and assign motive to behavior-- instead of meditating only on the truth.

How many of our difficulties with other Christians would come to a screeching halt if we stopped telling ourselves a story and instead listened to their story? 

Sara Groves puts it beautifully in her song, It's all right here,

"Every heart has so much history

It's my favorite place to start

Sit down a while and share your narrative with me

I'm not afraid of who you are"

Redeeming Love

David--who was the Shepherd-king, 

sought for one whom he cared to bring

--dispelling shame, 

he called for Mephibosheth by name. 

David took him from the desert bare

And brought him in to have no care

David showered him with love and grace

At the King's table was now His place

Likewise Jesus--our great shepherd-king

seeks your heart that He might bring

the lonely, sin-sick, lost one dear

In love He came, to draw You near

He brought me poor, though I am

and carried me home, His little lamb

I am thankful for the love He shares

As on Him now I cast my cares

I heard the voice of Jesus say

Sometimes Sunday mornings are hard. Yesterday's dawned bright and clear but for me it was dark and dismal. I wrestled with anxiety, fear and guilt as I prepared to come to the Lord's Supper. I felt like a failure. Rather than being able to rejoice in the grace and truth that are mine in the Lord Jesus, I swirled in the pit of guilt. Tears of frustration filled my eyes as I cried out to the Lord to free me from these lies of failure and worthlessness. As these thoughts plagued me I struggled to worship, but towards the end of the morning I lifted my voice to joyfully sing the truths that I knew to be real, despite my feelings. When I did I noticed that my joyful noise was disturbing the person in front of me and my heart sunk and the tears began to roll again. 

I came to the preaching service with discouragement and fear reigning in my heart. I took my seat and, with courage I did not think I had, sang of His great love to us. 

The sermon, rather than being a heady exposition on end times that I was expecting (dreading, if I am quite honest), was a continuation of the week before, looking at what we have in Christ as His new creation. 

The sermon opened with this hymn: "I heard the voice of Jesus say." 

And the first verse jumped out at me, 

"I heard the voice of Jesus say,

"Come unto to me and rest," 

Lay down, thou weary one, lay down

Thy head upon My breast.”
I came to Jesus as I was,
Weary and worn and sad;
I found in Him a resting place,
And He has made me glad."

The preacher said that the Lord has given us rest from three things: Rest from guilt, rest from the work of self-righteousness, and rest from the vices of sin. 

My breath caught when I heard the first thing that we have rest from---that had been my struggle all morning long! And when I heard the preacher's next words I knew that the Living, Loving God was speaking directly to me. He said "Satan tries to get us often at our most holy moments during the Lord's Supper." The Lord knew that I needed to know that my struggle with guilt and the resulting anxieties were part of a battle, not just one more thing that I had failed at. Recognizing that there is a battle going on--one that our Lord has already won, is a great encouragement to me. 

Tears of joy filled my eyes, but the Living God was not done speaking to my heart. The service ended and the brother that was sitting behind me reached over and laid a hand on my arm. He said, "I just wanted to tell you what a joy it is to hear you sing." My eyes nearly flooded again as I thanked him. He did not know how much I needed to hear that after having my song silenced earlier that morning, but the Lord Jesus knew. 

So often Lord, forgive me, but I doubt Your love. Thank you for these small reminders that "He who did not spare His own Son, how shall He not with Him freely give us all things?" Romans 8:32. Help me to trust Your love all of my days.