The Risk of Love

I don't know if I can even full express the thought that has been running through my head the last few days. I have been thinking about Advent, and preparing my heart to celebrate His birth, and marveling that He came. 

I mean, to think that the God of the universe--the Creator and Sustainer of all that we see would stoop to come to earth as a newborn baby--to live and die for me is amazing! 

But then it struck me--even before He created us He knew that He would have to send His Son to die. The all-knowing God, knew full well that His creation would rebel and sin and that the only way to restore that relationship would be to send His Beloved Son to the cross. And He created us anyways. 

So when life seems hard, and He seems far away, trust in the unfailing love of a God who loved us so much that He would rather send His Son to die for us than not even create us in the first place. The God who loves us so much that He created us, knit us together in our mother's womb and relentlessly pursues His lost creation to bring them back to Him. 

Oh what a love!

I am the Resurrection

 John 11: 17b- 27 "So when Jesus came, He found that he had already been in the tomb four days. 18 Now Bethany was near Jerusalem, about two miles away. 19 And many of the Jews had joined the women around Martha and Mary, to comfort them concerning their brother.

20 Now Martha, as soon as she heard that Jesus was coming, went and met Him, but Mary was sitting in the house. 21 Now Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died. 22 But even now I know that whatever You ask of God, God will give You.”

23 Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.”

24 Martha said to Him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”

25 Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live. 26 And whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die. Do you believe this?”

27 She said to Him, “Yes, Lord, I believe that You are the Christ, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.”

I had been thinking lately about The Lord's interaction with Martha when Lazarus dies and she say's to the Lord,  " I know he'll be raised on the last day." The Lord's response puzzled me for a long time because what He says sounds like a correction even though what she said is true. He says, " I am the resurrection and the Life.... Do you believe this?" Martha doesn't know that He is about to raise her brother from the dead and so her hope is in the future resurrection of the dead; the hope that we believers also share. So why does the Lord seem to be correcting her and what is it that she, and so often we, fail to understand? It struck me that the message for all of us is the first two words, "I am." Not I was or I will be but I am. When we stand weeping at the grave of one we love we can know that although to us their resurrection seems to be a future event to the One who always is it is already done--That is why He says, "whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die."

Whatever is true

For the last few days I haven't been able to get those three little words out of my head..."Whatever is true..."

They are the first few words in Paul's reminder to us to think on "Whatever is true, honorable, just, etc..." in Philippians 4:8. 

That verse often seems like a tag-on at the end of an amazing book--I have often thought as I read the last chapter of Philippians that it seems like a series of postscripts rather than a cohesive thought. But this time as I thought about it I changed my mind. 

Paul starts chapter 4 with an exhortation to two women with rather unpronounceable names who could be anyone of us. Two women who are not getting along despite their otherwise faithful service in the Lord.

It struck me as I read the first few verses and then verse 8 that perhaps there was more of a thought flow here than I originally gave Paul credit for--many of our disagreements and difficulties with fellow believers come because we fail to follow instruction number 1--"Whatever is true--" Instead, we draw conclusions, and make assumptions and assign motive to behavior-- instead of meditating only on the truth.

How many of our difficulties with other Christians would come to a screeching halt if we stopped telling ourselves a story and instead listened to their story? 

Sara Groves puts it beautifully in her song, It's all right here,

"Every heart has so much history

It's my favorite place to start

Sit down a while and share your narrative with me

I'm not afraid of who you are"

Redeeming Love

David--who was the Shepherd-king, 

sought for one whom he cared to bring

--dispelling shame, 

he called for Mephibosheth by name. 

David took him from the desert bare

And brought him in to have no care

David showered him with love and grace

At the King's table was now His place

Likewise Jesus--our great shepherd-king

seeks your heart that He might bring

the lonely, sin-sick, lost one dear

In love He came, to draw You near

He brought me poor, though I am

and carried me home, His little lamb

I am thankful for the love He shares

As on Him now I cast my cares

I heard the voice of Jesus say

Sometimes Sunday mornings are hard. Yesterday's dawned bright and clear but for me it was dark and dismal. I wrestled with anxiety, fear and guilt as I prepared to come to the Lord's Supper. I felt like a failure. Rather than being able to rejoice in the grace and truth that are mine in the Lord Jesus, I swirled in the pit of guilt. Tears of frustration filled my eyes as I cried out to the Lord to free me from these lies of failure and worthlessness. As these thoughts plagued me I struggled to worship, but towards the end of the morning I lifted my voice to joyfully sing the truths that I knew to be real, despite my feelings. When I did I noticed that my joyful noise was disturbing the person in front of me and my heart sunk and the tears began to roll again. 

I came to the preaching service with discouragement and fear reigning in my heart. I took my seat and, with courage I did not think I had, sang of His great love to us. 

The sermon, rather than being a heady exposition on end times that I was expecting (dreading, if I am quite honest), was a continuation of the week before, looking at what we have in Christ as His new creation. 

The sermon opened with this hymn: "I heard the voice of Jesus say." 

And the first verse jumped out at me, 

"I heard the voice of Jesus say,

"Come unto to me and rest," 

Lay down, thou weary one, lay down

Thy head upon My breast.”
I came to Jesus as I was,
Weary and worn and sad;
I found in Him a resting place,
And He has made me glad."

The preacher said that the Lord has given us rest from three things: Rest from guilt, rest from the work of self-righteousness, and rest from the vices of sin. 

My breath caught when I heard the first thing that we have rest from---that had been my struggle all morning long! And when I heard the preacher's next words I knew that the Living, Loving God was speaking directly to me. He said "Satan tries to get us often at our most holy moments during the Lord's Supper." The Lord knew that I needed to know that my struggle with guilt and the resulting anxieties were part of a battle, not just one more thing that I had failed at. Recognizing that there is a battle going on--one that our Lord has already won, is a great encouragement to me. 

Tears of joy filled my eyes, but the Living God was not done speaking to my heart. The service ended and the brother that was sitting behind me reached over and laid a hand on my arm. He said, "I just wanted to tell you what a joy it is to hear you sing." My eyes nearly flooded again as I thanked him. He did not know how much I needed to hear that after having my song silenced earlier that morning, but the Lord Jesus knew. 

So often Lord, forgive me, but I doubt Your love. Thank you for these small reminders that "He who did not spare His own Son, how shall He not with Him freely give us all things?" Romans 8:32. Help me to trust Your love all of my days.

Grace in the mess

Tonight around the dinner table we were talking about unconditional love. You know that kind of super natural love that only comes from God and allows you to love others even in the midst of the mess. I started thinking about how that love gets reflected in everyday relationships and I thought of this story. 

About a week ago my little brother came home from college to spend Easter weekend with us and celebrate his birthday which happened to fall on his break. We had a bunch of his friends over and with the leadership of my dad, the mastermind chef, we were putting together a great meal. 

Due to some quantity issues and some last minute adjustments my dad asked me to whip up some stir fry sauce. It was getting close to the time that everything else was ready and so I started to get flustered and hurry. I was dumping things in and feeling sorry for myself that no one was helping me as I got more and more anxious about getting the sauce done "in time." I couldn't find one of the ingredients, chicken broth, and when I did it was in a 32 oz can and all I needed was a quarter cup. It was the last thing to go in and I quickly tried to pour it in only to succeed in pouring it all over the table and the floor. I exploded a little then myself and starting banging things around in my frustration, and complaining out-loud now that I didn't have anyone helping me. 

Instead of telling me to snap out of it (which I would have deserved), or to stop blaming others for your spills and mistakes (which I also would have deserved), my sister & brother stepped over and gently took over my sauce-making disaster. My brother stirred up the sauce and my sister wiped up the mess. 

When I took a deep breath and turned to apologize, I kissed my sister and said,  "Thank you for cleaning up my mess." They both looked me in the eye and said "We love you, Megs." 

It struck me today that that is how Christ loves us. He wants us to ask for help, but even when we don't and we make a mess of things, He steps in to clean it up and to redeem even our mistakes. And why? Because He loves us. He did not choose us because our great might or strength, He chose us because He loves us. He is not surprised when we fail, nor does His grace ever find an end. He loves us even in the mess!

Learning to give thanks

I told a story yesterday to a friend of mine and I think that it bears repeating. 

Last year in my first year as a school nurse I met a student who touched my life. He was what school nurses refer to as a frequent flyer and came to see me nearly every day with some concern. These physical needs were simply a cover for what became obvious to me as a need to feel connected and to be cared for. He was always polite, and never disrespectful and I grew to really enjoy seeing his smiling face and hearing the oft repeated request, "Can I have some vaseline for my lips?" 

Towards the end of the year I was informed that on field days it would be my job to hand out ice-pops to ward off dehydration. In the course of two days I would hand out nearly 500 ice-pops to the kids as they ran from station to station. The first day--grades k-2 went very well. The kids sat down, and they listened to my instructions as I explained that there was to be no special requests for a particular color or flavor, that they would just have to "get what they get."  Each class thanked me--corporately and individually and moved on to their next activity. The second day didn't go so well. The older students--grades 3-5, were picky, and their time with me was chaotic. They didn't listen to my direction and complained if they didn't get the ice-pop they wanted. It was not such a fun day. 

Part way though that crazy day, my "frequent flyer" came with his class for their turn at the rest station. I tried to explain that they couldn't choose their flavor but no one was listening and I gave up trying. I was handing out ice-pops as fast as I could when my friend stopped in front of me and asked if he could have a blue one. I sighed a little and explained for the umpteenth time that day, that "I'm sorry but I can't let people pick their flavor, its too hard with so many kids." I handed him a pink one and he started to turn away, but then he stopped. He paused, and looked me in the eye and said, "Thank you very much, Miss G.," and turned and walked away. 

It was all I could do not to cry on the spot. I saw him later and told him how proud I was of him that he had made the choice to be thankful even when he did not get what he wanted. 

What a precious lesson to learn! I pray that I would learn the same. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, "Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks for this is the will of God, in Christ Jesus for you."  Give thanks in EVERYTHING. That leaves no room for an ungrateful heart no matter what life may bring. Lord Jesus, may I like Paul learn to be content in all circumstances.