Never Alone

Sometimes the littlest thing can drive me to tears.
Today it was a clogged toilet. 
Now, clogged toilets are not ordinarily something that I find overwhelming or difficult to deal with. But my toilet has been clogging multiple times a day and my patience is starting to wear thin. The last time it clogged I went and borrowed my parent's plunger which is much more hefty than mine and managed to get it unplugged. Today was looking like it was going to be one of those days. After at least 20 minutes of failed attempts to plunge the toilet I hopped in the car and drove down the road to my parents house feeling frustrated that I had to waste my time on this silly toilet. I walked in and told my dad that I need to borrow the plunger--the frustration obvious in my voice, if not in the fake smile pasted across my face. He smiled  and said, "It's good practice."

I knew what he meant; I am hoping to buy a house after renting for 4 years and while right now I have a landlord to fall back on, pretty soon all the responsibility of a house will be mine. So yes, I had better learn to (successfully) plunge my own toilets. 

But what it felt like was just another reminder that I am alone. I don't have a husband to plunge the toilets or kill the bugs, or tell me what that funny noise is that my car is making. I don't live at home and so I don't have dad or brothers around to always do those things either. 

As I stomped out to my car and got in and slammed the door behind the plunger I had thrown in the backseat, hot tears stung my eyes. Because really, the truth is sometimes it makes me angry. When I see my friends around me getting married and having babies; When I see the joy that those little ones bring; When I come home to an empty house---sometimes that ache is too great to bear. 

I turned on the radio reflexively as I got into the car. It took a moment for the words to reach me then my tears started to come harder, but less angry, and more repentant and grateful as I heard these words.

"Never once did we ever walk alone, 

Never once did You leave us on our own. 

You are faithful, God, You are Faithful!" 

(Matt Redman)

Sometimes in the midst of the difficulties, and heartaches of this life we can lose sight of this simple truth. We look at our circumstances and say, "God, where are You?" 

The Answer is simple. He is Immanuel. He is here with us. No. Matter. What. He will never leave us on our own. 

P.S. (I got the toilet unplugged. I think I need to invest in a better plunger.)