The Best of 2012

I was challenged when reading over @ incourage to create this list---a list of the blessings that I have experienced this year.

The best book I read: One Thousand Gifts by Anne Voskamp. I read and re-read this book. I bought over 10 copies and gave them all away. If you haven't read this you should. 

The best gift I received: A sticker from a little boy at the office who is one of my favorite kids. He ran over and gave me a hug, looked at the two stickers in his hand and said "This one's for you," as he handed it to me. 

The best meal I cooked: Sweet Potato Chicken Curry. Probably one of the only recipes that I have ever repeated. Yum.

The best event of this year: My brother marrying his beautiful bride, Katie. Yeah for sisters!

The best trip of the year: Istanbul, Turkey visiting Amy. Talking until we didn't need to talk anymore. 

The best restaurant: The Indian place that Katie's family took us to down in NC. 

The best message heard: Podcast by Nate Bramsen over @ theunfilteredword.org--"When Life Doesn't Make Sense."

The best church family: Northgate Bible Chapel.

The best Family tradition: Friday night pizza. 

The best habit formed: reading the Bible through the year

The best sweatpants: Iroquoina all the way. 

The best song: Let Me Rediscover You, by Downhere tied for first place with Jason Gray's Remind Me who I am. 

The best of all. Jesus Christ my Lord. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. And every good gift is the gift of His hand!

Christmas Everyday

The miracle of Christmas--is that the Son of God became a tiny human baby, fully God and fully man so that He could go to the cross and die to redeem our souls to Himself. 

He came as Immanuel, God with us. Not "was with us", not "will be with us" but God with us. Always.Forever.Past.Present.Future. Without End.

And so everyday is Christmas because the Christ is always with us. His gift, it keeps on giving, as we unwrap His greatness.

"And this is eternal life that they may know You, the only True God and Jesus Christ, whom You have sent!" John 17:3

He has spoken

I was reading this morning in Psalm 29, a beautiful song of worship to the Lord. As I read I noticed one phrase repeating: "The voice of the Lord..."
The psalmist reminds us that the voice of the Lord has power to create, power that thunders--shaking us to the core.
A voice of fire--power for destroying and refining.
A voice of majesty and glory, that compells us to worship.

And I was remind of this song by Michael Card:

The voice of the Lord spoke and "so was born the Son." The Lord Jesus came to earth as the Final Word. "In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God." John 1:1

As we celebrate Christmas may we worship in awe that at the voice of the Lord the Lord Jesus stepped into time and space, and was born in a smelly barn, walked the earth with no place to lay His head, was nailed to a cross to die in the cruelest way known to man, to rise again to save us and bring us to Himself!

The writer to the Hebrews says it best:

"Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, ² but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed the heir of all things, through whom also he created the world. ³ He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature, and he upholds the universe by the word of his power. After making purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high, ⁴ having become as much superior to angels as the name he has inherited is more excellent than theirs."

"God is not dead nor doth He sleep."

It has been a sobering couple of weeks both in a national sense with the horrific events in Conneticut and personally, with death, and sickness touching the lives of many that I love. 

I was thinking this morning about these things and was reminded of a Christmas carol. "I heard the bells on Christmas day," was written by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow in 1864. What many people may not know was that he wrote these words after a time of deep personal grief as well as national sorrow.

Longfellow lost his wife in a horrible fire in 1861, the same year in which the nation went to war; brother against brother. A few years later his son would be among the thousands wounded in that terrible war. 

In 1864 Longfellow penned these words; today we are familiar with 5 of the 7 verses as a Christmas carol.

I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old, familiar carols play,

and wild and sweet

The words repeat

Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom

Had rolled along

The unbroken song

Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Till ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,

A voice, a chime,

A chant sublime

Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Then from each black, accursed mouth
The cannon thundered in the South,

And with the sound

The carols drowned

Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent,

And made forlorn

The households born

Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head;
"There is no peace on earth," I said;

"For hate is strong,

And mocks the song

Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
"God is not dead, nor doth He sleep;

The Wrong shall fail,

The Right prevail,

With peace on the earth, good-will to men."

These are the words of hope for dark times like this--"God is not dead,not doth He sleep; The wrong shall fail, the right prevail, with peace on earth, good-will to men."

Jesus Christ came as a baby but He grew into a Man and died to save this sin-cursed world. But the reason that we celebrate Christmas, and ring those bells, is because His death was swallowed up in victory! He is alive and we serve a God who lives and reigns and rules in the hearts of men! All glory to Him who is the Prince of Peace!

May your heart be encouraged.

Forgiveness is the gift of Christmas

I was reading through 1 Chronicles the other day and I came across something so startling that I had to read it again to be sure that it said what I thought it did

"These were born to him (David) in Jerusalem: Shimea, Shobab, Nathan and Solomon, four by Bath-shua, the daughter of Ammiel."
1 Chronicles 3:5

You may be looking at that verse saying, "Huh?"

It was not the more well known names that caught my eye---we all know who Solomon is but the name right before his that made me catch my breath. Nathan--where had I seen that name before?

Flip back a few pages and read this: 2 Samuel 12

Nathan--the prophet whom God called to call David out on his sin with Bathsheba, the wife of Uriah.

Nathan--the one that pointed out to David the gravity of his sin.

Nathan--the one who had to tell David that because of his sin his son would die.

Looke back at the verse in 1 Chronicles 3--what is it that David named his son? Nathan.

Nathan--the name that for David spoke forgiveness from the Lord.

Nathan--the name that remind him of the greatness of the Lord he served.

Nathan--the name that spoke to him of the seriousness of sin.

He named his son Nathan. Who can really say why David did that, but I submitt that every time David said that name, every time he called his child to him, he was reminded of the Lord had had forgiven him and called him to Himself.

What does Nathan mean?
   Gift of God.

God's gift to us this Christmas is that same all encompassing love and forgivness that He offered to David--even more fully evident now in the person of the Lord Jesus Christ who is the gift of God.

Will you accept His gift?

True gifts

We all like to receive gifts but sometimes the giving of them is hard. 
It may the cost that balks us. 
Or maybe it is the lack of inspiration--wanting to give a gift but not really knowing what to give. 
Maybe it is the time that it takes--we live rushed and busy lives and finding time to pick out just the right gift is hard. 
 Whatever the issue giving gifts is not always easy. 

But consider this:

The gift of salvation cost God the Father His Son.

He knew what to give because He perfectly know our needs. (Now He patiently wait for us to realize our need and accept His perfect gift.)

He planned this gift from before time began and gave it at just the right time (when the fullness of time had come...)

And so our hearts are the gift that we give Him for as King David said, I will not sacrifice "to the Lord that which has cost me nothing."

And so consider greatly the gift you have been given and give like that--offering yourself up as the living sacrifice to the One who gave everything to win your heart!

Christmas joy

I was reading and thinking today about the joy of the Lord. So often I feel a twist and a pang when I read and think about this because I know that so often my fears, my worries, my sin, keeps me from experiencing His joy. I am so easily distracted by the chaos of life. I am so quickly discouraged by my inability to get it right. I take my eyes of Him and am sucked in to unhealthy introspection that only leaves me sad and discouraged.

and then this morning I read
     "Let them thank the Lord for His steadfast love, for His wondrous works to the children of men! And let them offer sacrifices of thanksgiving, and tell of His deeds in songs of Joy!" Psalm 106:21-22

It's not about what I have done but what He has done! 

And so as we celebrate Christmas time let us "repeat the sounding joy!" 

Share His joy---the story of a life transformed. Not a life here made perfect but a life here made complete. A life that is hidden in His life.

  

Count Down to Christmas

I wish that I had been better this year about keeping Advent but I am really only 4 days into my Advent devotional and I don't feel quite ready for Christmas. So I thought that I would share here some of my favorite thoughts and reflections about Christmas--perhaps write my own little Advent devotional as I reflect on the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 

One of my favorite Christmas songs of all time is Immanuel by Michael Card. It is an incredible song that reflects the beauty of this name of Christ.

Immanuel--God with us, is the name given to the prophet Isaiah (7:14) "Therefore the Lord Himself shall give you a sign, behold the virgin will conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel."

To me this is one of the most precious names of Christ. The depth of love that it speaks of that God would become a man,walk this earth, suffer with us and for us, to bring us to Himself! What a Savior!

"What's your story about His glory?"

My Testimony:

I was saved at the age of four after attending a week of meetings at Camp Iroquoina. The gospel had been clearly presented all week through the use of the wordless book. It was after we came home that I distinctly remember walking to the kitchen and telling my mom that I needed to get saved. I prayed with her, confessing myself to be a sinner and accepting Jesus as my Savior and that began my walk with the Lord.

I do not remember much about my early years as a Christ follower but I was blessed in those years to have a family that was faithfully involved in our local church and parents who were committed to raising their children in a godly way.

When I was about eleven I remember beginning to make my faith my own. It was at that point that I was baptized before my church congregation and while at eleven I don’t know how much I really understood about all the beauty and symbolism of baptism I knew that it was my public declaration of my faith in Christ. I began having my own daily quiet time and started keeping a journal of what God was teaching me, prayers I had prayed, etc.  I also started taking communion and realizing with that how I needed to examine myself before Christ.

When I was in my teen years I struggled with normal teen things; like learning who I am, issues with friends, and talking back to my parents. There were a few particular incidents that stand out from those years as moments that shaped my faith.

When I was fourteen one of my best friends from church tried to commit suicide and praise the Lord, his attempt was unsuccessful. The days that followed that experience were very hard and I remember going to school bearing a heavy weight of grief. As I went throughout my day and I prayed for him and grieved for him I remember the Lord stopping me in my tracks with this word of comfort: “You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” Isaiah 26:3. I took the Lord at his word and began to meditate on Him as I walked to class, to sing hymns silently to myself as I sat in the lunch room and I experienced the truth of those words. As I meditated on the Lord I experienced that peace that passes all understanding in a very real and supernatural way.

My next crisis of faith came when I was sixteen. The previous summer I had attended the counselor- in -training program at Camp Li-Lo-Li. I had grown up with many of the other trainees and we were all very close. Just shy of a year later I came home one night to learn that my friend Tom had been killed in a car accident. I remember one really important lesson from that time that my mom taught me. After Tom died she looked at me and said “Is God good? And do you trust Him?” Every time since that I have been faced with grief or loss I remember those words and answer  the hard yes.

During my teen years I was blessed to be part of a great youth group with leaders who poured into our lives with all the love of Christ. I was mentored by some marvelous women and men and I thank God for their impact in my life. I hope that in my current role as a youth group leader I am having the kind of impact on the lives of the young people that my leaders had on me.

I also had the joy to be able to serve at two Christian camps: Li-Lo-Li and Iroquoina, as both a counselor and a member of the support staff. I was encouraged and built up by my times at camp and I was thrilled to be able to be a part of the work of the gospel there.

I graduated from high school in 2003 and went to Roberts Wesleyan College for nursing. I had felt from the time I was thirteen that God had called me to nursing and I never wavered from that goal. My college years God used to continue to grow and stretch me.  I participated in a college and career Bible Study on Thursday nights and that group of friends along with my 6 “Townies” (so named our senior year because we lived in a townhouse) were my core group—we loved each other, prayed for each other, wept with each other and loved the Lord together.

After I graduated from college I moved back home and started my first job as a registered nurse on the same floor, in the same hospital where 20 some years earlier my mom had started her first nursing job. Shortly after finishing my orientation I experienced my first panic attack one morning when coming on my shift. I had never had a panic attack before and so with shortness of breath and a heart rate in the 140s I wound up in the emergency room  getting worked up for pulmonary embolism, cardiac abnormalities, and all other such things. In the next few days it became apparent that there was nothing wrong with my heart and that this was “simply” anxiety. One of the hardest things that I ever did was get up the next day and go back into work.  And it did not get better instantly but thanks to my dad who would not come get me when I called him crying that second day but told me that I needed to face this and my mom who got up with me daily at 5 o’clock in the morning and prayed with me before my shift I made it through my first year as a new nurse. I learned about believing prayer and trusting God and what it really means to have the peace that passes all understanding. I am thankful.

In the years since I have changed jobs and I now work at an inner city clinic, which I never would have imagined if someone had told me that I would be there someday. I am much more confident and assertive than I would have ever thought possible. God has given me opportunities to shine His love in some very dark situations and I praise Him for that. He is daily teaching me what it means to love those around me. And I pray that I am daily learning to live in the reality of His grace.

I have wrestled with hard questions and have been learning that God is big enough for my doubts and fears. I have learned the value of Christian community, the importance of vulnerability and the role of  the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ in my daily life. I am not perfect, and I am often a mess, but God is greater than my messes and His love sustains me. Praise Him!

To know Him!

I was greatly encouraged tonight by this podcast: When Life Doesn't Make Sense

Really what I needed to hear

as I drove home tonight I was having a pity party

Things aren't going the way I thought my life would go

and I was feeling forgotten, forsaken and alone. 

Then I came home and while I put away the groceries I listened to  Nate speak from Matthew 4:4 "Man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God."

It was striking to me that this passage is a direct quote of the Old Testament passage in Deuteronomy 9 where it says

"And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD."

God didn't beam them out of Egypt like some Star Trek transport--He led them in the wilderness where it was hard and difficult and things didn't go their way all the time (if ever). But He did it so that they would depend on Him and so that they would know Him more.

When life isn't going my way it is important for me to examine why I think it should. My heart was given to the Lord Jesus Christ a long time ago and there is really only One Way and that is His way. 

Like the children of Israel I so often forget Who it is I serve. I become ungrateful and discontent--and do you know what the Lord  often used to get the attention of His ungrateful children in the Old Testament--He sent plagues among them and many of them died. Sobering to think about when I consider how often I complain. 

Another point that Nate brought out was this: If we only trust the Lord when He acts the way we want Him to we are not trusting God but ourselves. And so when I don't understand, I will choose to trust. Or as Sara Groves puts it--- 

"from this one place I can't see very far

in this one moment I'm square in the dark

these are the things I will trust in my heart

You can see something else

something else"

I was reminded of Elisabeth Elliot's quote that "what we don't have now, we don't need now." I must trust and obey my good Father--knowing that He supplies all my needs. 

And this period of not knowing, this period of waiting is so that I may know Him! This is all I ever need to know for "this is eternal life that they may know You (the Father) and Jesus Christ whom You have sent!" John 17:3. 

The last few stanzas of a poem I wrote once say it well

My Life Is Not My Own

There in a garden, long years ago

Another Man wept as His time came to go

The road before Him was dark and grim

And the burden He bore was my sin

But as He knelt in that garden and prayed

“My Life is not My own” He cried—“Thy will be done

The work complete!

My blood shall cover the mercy seat!”

Now I praise Him all my days

 for my sinful soul He saved

Here on the altar I lay my life down

Hoping only to win Him a crown

My life is not my own shall my motto ever be---

I now belong to One who is greater than me

He is my Lord, my King and Friend

Of His praise there shall be no end.

Waiting

I have been thinking a lot about waiting lately---

I was reading about David, after his anointing but before he became king. He was running from Saul and when he did not wait on the Lord but instead allowed fear to drive him, he lied and many lost thier lives for helping him. In the next chapter he stopped to wait on the Lord for His direction and the Lord led him clearly in the way that he should go. What a contrast.

Then I read Psalm 27:13-14 and the tears stung my eyes as I realized my own failing to follow these words. And yet my heart rejoiced in the hope that these words speak.

"I would have lost hope unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!"

Eyes to see

Fear obstructs our vision and spoils our view--let me illustrate

I was flying to Toronto in a small and I mean, small plane! There were 18-seats, 20 if you count the pilot and co-pilot and only 6 of those 20 seats were filled.

We had to walk out on the tarmac to get to the plane and the weight of my backpack made me wobble as I walked up the stairs and ducked my head to go in!

We took off and for once, I did not feel the fear that usually floods me at take-off, instead I felt a thrill of excitement as we raced down the runway and took to the sky.

My excitement vanished a few minutes later as we hit a spot that was a wee bit bumpy. It truly was only a wee bit--I have heard the horror stories and this was nothing, but one little wobble was all it took and my heart was in  my throat. 

My eyes were closed to all around me except the jerking of the plane, and the flashes of lightning! I was sure that we were flying through a thunderstorm and I was terrified!!

When I finally relaxed for a moment and the bouncing ceased--I saw what I had been missing--

First of all the "lightning" that I had been seeing was merely the wing lights flashing through the clouds. My fears were based on a reality that existed only in my mind--not in truth. 

And what I saw as I looked out the window was the breathtaking beauty of a sunset from above the clouds!!

And then the words of Psalm 139 came to me "If I ascend into the heavens You are there!" And I realized that while physically my fears had kept me from seeing the beauty of God's creation that  spiritually my fears had blinded me to the fact that He is with me wherever I go.

Footprints

  I was reading Moses's address to the children of Israel; recounting the faithfulness of the Lord as they journeyed in the wilderness and I noticed a few things.

  "The Lord your God, who goes before you..." (Deut. 1:30a)---The Lord God lead the way--when they arrived at their next destination He was already there. They were never without the presence of the Lord. I take comfort in this as I travel at the end of this week that as I go the Lord is with me but He also goes before me as only the omnipresent God can. When I arrive at each new place He is already there.

  "The Lord your God carried you as a man carries his son" (Deut. 1:31b). Not only did the Lord of the universe, Creator of all things go before them--but He carried them. And not in a rough, uncaring way but in the way that a father carries his son---

in the hold of His comfort,

in the safety of His arms,

 in the discipline of His embrace,

He carries me!!

Eucharisteo

"And wine to gladden the heart of man,oil to make his face shine and bread to strengthen man's heart." Psalm 104:15

Luke 22:19-20 "And He took bread and gave thanks and broke it...likewise He took the cup..."this cup is the new covanent in My blood."

The wine which brings joy to the heart of man took on new meaning that night as He became the wine poured out for the salvation of the world, of you and me.

The bread that is given to support, refresh and strengthen man's heart is made alive in the Bread of Life who was broken that we might stand.

We give thanks once a week--we celebrate eucharist and the Wine of His blood brings joy to our hearts and the Bread of His body strengthens our hearts. And the oil of His Spirit washes us anew, causing out faces to shine, our lives to shout His praise.

Friends & Family

I heard the old Michael W. Smith classic "Friends are friends forever"  this morning on the radio and I started thinking about how friends are gifts of the Almighty God. He uses the friends in our lives to be the hands and feet of Jesus. And as believers in Jesus Christ our friends are also our family fulfilling both parts of Proverbs 17:17, " A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity."

I would like to briefly recount a few times that the Lord used my friends to reach down and surround me with His love in a way that was "just like Jesus," unmistakably Him.

When I got my wisdom teeth out my dad took me home and then went to the store to fill my scripts before the novacaine wore off. My mom was working and so my little brother and sister were the only ones home with me. My mouth was completely numb and apparently my gauze was completely soaked because the next thing I knew I was drooling blood. My poor younger sibs were staring at me wide eyed not sure what to do and I was sure that I would not be able to change the gauze on my own. At that moment there was a knock at the door and my mom's best friend walked in. She had come over with a stack of movies for me to watch. She changed that nasty gauze for me and reassured us all simply by her presence. I remember thinking, "that is true love."

Another time that was maybe a year or two ago I was at church and feeling very alone. I had just listened to a sermon on marriage and was feeling a bit forgetten. I was walking quickly to the nursery to find my sister trying to hold back the tears when a young man who had recently graduated from the high school youth group that I help lead, called my name. I turned around almost reluctantly, and he said "Megan, I just want to tell you how special you are and how much you mean to me as a friend and leader." He gave me a hug and held on as I sobbed tears of joy that the Lord had not forgotten me.

Recently at work one day I was choking back tears as I read an email from a friend that brought me joy and heartache. I was trying to slip unnoticed into the back when my co-worker caught me. She offered the words of encouragement that I needed right then as one who has shared the same mingled joys and pains.

I am sure that I have more stories to tell, and as I think of them I will share because they are really testimonies of this great truth: WHAT A FRIEND WE HAVE IN JESUS!!

The Foolishness of God

"Come lose your life for a carpenter's son

For a madman who died for a dream

Then you'll have the faith His first followers had

And you'll feel the weight of the beam"

"but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles, but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God." 1 Cor 1:23-24

A babe in the straw

Was the God who inspires awe

The Word of God made man

So that we might understand

From Nazareth, the carpenter's Son, 

Came with a purpose, the Father's will to be done

He had no to place to lay His head

He left the throne of heaven to stand in our stead

He chose his followers, called them by name

they were not perfect but none would ever be the same

He chose the outcasts of this world to declare His word

In the weak of this world His message was heard

And today He calls you

His message is true

On the cross He did die

but now is risen on high

Will you bow the knee?

will you answer His plea?

The Word Became Flesh

I have been thinking about the importance of sharing the gospel--and what that looks like in my day to day life. 

I have thought about famous quotes from great theologians like Sir Francis of Assisi who said "Preach the word at all times, and when necessary use words." And I have wondered--is it ever unnecessary?

Can we effectively share the truth about who the Lord Jesus is by    actions alone? And if not what is the role of words? I mean, we all agree, I hope, that our lives should reflect the Lord Jesus Christ, but many of us would disagree about when and how we speak of Him to those around us.

I don't want to debate methods--but I want to just point out what the Lord showed me from His word this week "The Word became flesh." John 1:1 I think that this answers the question---there is no either or the Word was Incarnated for us. We must speak and we must act as our Lord has called us to. 

In need of Grace

I was reading tonight @ aholyexperience.com and one phrase caught my eye "Grace always asks if you want more." Oh, yes Lord, I want more--because I need more of Your grace! And the following is just a glimpse of why I need His grace. 

I was discussing tonight with a friend how speaking the truth about who Jesus is and what He has done for us is a necessary part of sharing the gospel. How this really is a gospel of the Word and without spoken, or written word much about who He is would fail to be expressed. 

The  sad irony is that earlier this same night I almost opened my mouth to testify of my Lord's amazing grace in my workplace this summer and I didn't. Either because of fear of what the hearer might think, or second guessing myself because "surely they wouldn't understand," or perhaps not wanting to make them feel uncomfortable--- I spoke empty words instead. These excuses seem pretty paltry in comparison with the importance of the issue at hand--eternal life with Jesus Christ or eternal death without Him. May I never lose sight of that again!

And so Lord Jesus, I need Your grace

I cannot, in my own strength, run this race

Forgive me for the times I fail

Help me Lord to walk Your trail

Jesus Lord please fix my eyes

Keep me pressing for the prize

May I run thus unashamed

Bringing all glory to Your name!

Called & Qualified

I was reading Exodus this morning and I came to the unique narrative about the men who were equipped to do the work of building the tabernacle. 
I was struck by the first part of verse 2: "See, I have called by name..." Here are these seemingly previously unknown men, who have never been mentioned before and will never be mentioned again as far as I know, and the LORD God, the Creator of the universe, steps in and says "I have called by name..." What an awesome thing! And how amazing to know that He has also called me by name!
The LORD goes on to say in the next few verses that He has filled them with the Spirit of God, He has gifted them with ability and intelligence, knowledge and craftsmanship. I love that--He not only called them; He qualified them. 

After reading that this morning I was reminded of it again as we read 1 Corinthians chapter 1 at Bible Study tonight. Paul starts out by reminding the Corinthians of their calling: "Called to be saints...and called into the fellowship of His Son, Jesus Christ our LORD." And in between those two callings he reminds them of their equipping that by the grace of God they are "enriched in Him in all speech and all knowledge,"not lacking in any gift,"guiltless in the day of Jesus Christ." 

All of this is mine in Christ Jesus and it blows my mind. I know that I am a rotten sinner. I worry and fret. I get angry. I gossip. I am grumpy. I forget to look out for the interests of others. I forget to pray. I speak harshly. I judge too quickly. I fail to show mercy.

BUT.... GOD is FAITHFUL!!

Amazing grace is shown to me. I am a saint. I am in fellowship with Jesus Christ. I am equipped to serve by the grace of God. I am qualified to serve by that same grace. What an amazing God we serve!

God still speaks

It is amazing to see how God still speaks into our lives through His word!
Yesterday I was wrestling with a difficult situation--not one that I have any control over but something that deeply burdened my heart nonetheless. I was angry and frustrated--seemingly just at the situation, but ultimately I realized that I was angry with God for allowing things to be as they are.
I went to chapel for our weekly prayer and Bible study and I hardly heard a thing that the speaker said except for two verses from 2 Chronicles 20.

The people of Israel are up against a hard situation and they cry out to the Lord "We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on You." And the Lord responds--"You will not need to fight in this battle. Stand firm, hold your position, and see the salvation of the LORD."

In my own life with this difficult situation--I do not know what to do---I am incredibly frustrated as a health care professional to feel like my hands are tied. The reality is that I am in the same position as the children of Israel, not just in this situation, but in all areas of my life. I am not wise or knowledgeable apart from the Lord and so I must look to Him.

And I love the Lord's answer--"You will not need to fight." This took all the anger right out of my heart--He will fight for me. He only asks that I hold my position--which from the previous verse is a simple one--with my eyes on Him!

What a mighty God we serve!

Cloudy Day

   This morning as I drove to work I was struck by the amazing beauty of the sun rising and breaking through the clouds. I think that the sunrise is actually more beautiful on those days when there are clouds to shine through. You can disagree but it started me thinking about the purpose of the cloud in scripture. The cloud is often used as the covering of the glory of the Lord. In our modern world we often think of clouds in connection with trials and difficulties. It struck me that when the sun breaks through the clouds the beauty is more breathtaking than the beauty of a cloudless day. And likewise when the Son of Glory shines through the trials of our lives the beauty is more beautiful, more deep and rich, than the beauty of a life without the refining fire of trials.

beautiful music

I was driven to tears Sunday morning as we sang this hymn, Unbounded Grace. It is one of my favorites, and especially lately as I learn to rely on His grace each day.

"Unbounded Grace it reached to me, when hope was gone from view. In my despair, Christ came to me, as He alone could do.

"Grace was for me the only way, my guilt could find relief; My destiny was changed that day, I reached out in belief.

"God's grace does not on me depend; 'tis God who is my Stay; His love is offered without end, He walks with me each day."

 by John Walvoord, & Don Wyrtzen

Thank you Lord--Your grace is sufficient for me.

Having begun by the Spirit

I was reading today in Galatians and I was struck by Paul's barrage of questions at the beginning of chapter 3--the middle question hit me the most "Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh(v3).?" 

This question sums up the struggle of living in daily grace. Having trusted in the saving work of the Lord Jesus Christ and depending on His great grace to rescue me from sin and death, why do I persist in trying to "earn" His pleasure?

I have often said that as Protestant believers one of the great traps that we fall into is saying that we are good little Protestants and acting like good little Catholics. By this I mean that we often forget the completeness of our salvation and our continual dependency on grace and instead seek to please the Lord by some efforts of our own.

The most difficult aspect of this struggle is that from the outside no one may be able to see the difference. The one who lives under the law and the one who lives according to grace may do all the same things--the difference is the attitude of the heart.

The one who depends on the law is consumed with "getting it right," and can often be consumed with guilt and fear when faced with the reality of his or her own insufficiency and failure. This person is trying to make it on his or her own. This is the person to whom Paul says, " Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?"

By contrast the believer who lives according to grace is depending on the leading and strength of the Spirit. They are familiar with the throne of grace and turn there to find grace and forgiveness for their sin and shortcomings.

We have been saved by grace alone and we  must live in the reality of this grace. When asked several years ago what the most precious thing about my salvation was I responded "That His grace never ends--the miracle of my salvation is that my Lord saved me knowing full well that I would do most of my sinning after I was saved."

Living according to the law after being saved by grace is nothing short of pride,; the sin of saying that I can somehow do anything on my own when in truth I am dependent on the Lord Jesus for my very breath.

Living according to grace is the abundant life that the Lord Jesus promised us. It is the life free from guilt and fear. It is the life that is Spirit-led and Spirit-filled. It is the life free from anxiety and distress. It is the life lived in humble worship of the One who is alone worthy of all that we are!

Lord may we live according to the grace that HAS been given to us! Thank you Lord for this indescribable gift.

Why run?

"Why run from whatever God is giving?" 

Ann Voskamp, www.aholyexperience.com 

Sometimes I find myself doing just that...  the situation is too hard or things are turning out differently than I had planned..
And when I run away from God's gifts for my day I am like the Levite and the priest who passed the wounded man by. To busy to be inconvenienced  too calloused to care, too self-focused to really see what God has given me today. 

I want to see the measure of my days with new eyes. To let go of my control and yield to Him. To thank Him for ALL gifts...because as someone wrote once--- "We should not look at the gift and say, 'it is good and therefore it must be from God,' rather we should look at the gift and say 'it is from God and so it must be good.'" There is great acceptance and great peace in recognizing that all we have is a gift from the Good Giver. " 

"Be thankful in all circumstances for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Letting go.

Sometimes I want so badly to let go but I feel like someone who have been gripping the rope of control for so long that my fingers are frozen in place and I cry out, "Lord, help me! I don't even know how to let go." Because it is more than words-- it is my life. I can say with my lips "I surrender," but if I cling tightly to that rope of control I am a liar. 

I was reading about Jacob this week. Jacob who fought for his own control despite even at times knowing God's plan for his life. I mean, I imagine, knowing Rebekah favoritism toward Jacob, that she told him of the prophecy of God: "the older shall serve the younger." But it wasn't enough for Jacob to know that God had ordained that to be. He has to take matters into his own hands, and has to first steal his brother's birthright and then deceitfully take his brother's blessing. And nothing changes as Jacob gets older. When, after years of separation, he is faced with seeing his brother Esau again, what does he do? Does he pray and seek the Lord's guidance? No, he plots and plans and again takes matters into his own hands. I know that all to often that is my way as well. I, either out of forgetfulness, or out of pride, or out of fear, barge ahead to correct, control, arrange difficulties according to my way without first consulting the Father. 

And then in the middle of that we have what seems like this random story in the middle of Jacob going to meet Esau. Jacob is alone and a Man comes and wrestles with him. Kind of weird, right? But note two things, Jacob gets a new name--Israel, which can be translated "God rules"  and Jacob is broken in the strongest part of his body. 

You see, Jacob is in the middle of this really crazy, scary situation and whether it is because of arrogance or fear or forgetfulness, he has disregarded God. And so God stops him in his tracks and God gives him a new name. Israel--God rules, a names that would forever remind Jacob, and his people Who sat on the throne and who was in control of all things. And God breaks Jacob in the strongest muscle of the body--taking away any thought that he had some power in and of himself and permanently leaving a reminder of his weakness and God's mighty power!

And so I am reminded that it is in my weakness that He is strong. I am His "workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them (Ephesians 2:10)." And the verses right before that tell me I saved by grace alone! The Christian life is not this frantic struggle to "get it right" and to somehow please God. The Christian life is simply trusting in Christ alone and walking with Him. 

As it says on an old-school camp t-shirt 

"Breaking thru the darkness, Jesus is the Light!."

Lord, may these truths sink deep in my heart, that as I write them I would let go and rest in You alone! May Your Spirit guide my footsteps and may Your name be glorified in my life!

Counting...

I am starting again
I am attempting again to discipline myself to count 1,000 gifts that the Lord has given me because the act of giving thanks will change my heart. Thanksgiving is an act of acceptance of God's all-powerfulness, His sovereignty, and my complete dependence on Him. Thanksgiving is the opposite of complaining and I do all too much of that.
So I am going to begin again to count... and because the Lord is a great Giver of gifts I hope that I will never stop counting even after I reach 1,000. 


1. Fried eggs with runny yokes
2. Warm showers that wash away the dirt and stress and remind me of the washing of the water of the Word!
3. Happy meal toys with disproportionate parts that make me laugh
4. extra time to sleep this morning
5.Nothing going "right" remind me that my Sovereign Lord is in control of my days.
6.Friends who freely give
7. good pens, because writing a list of thanks is like writing a love letter to the Lord for all that He has done, and (if you have read Anne of Windy Poplars) you know that having just the right pen is important. 
8. the camaraderie of suffering
9. Being woken up early enough to have my quiet time and begin my day without being rushed
10. hot corn bags to soothe away pain.